Update and Birthday!!!

Well Im gonna jump to the good news im turning 15 next month YAY!!!!! and all i want for my birthday is cash so i can get a new camera!! If you havent heard my old camera i got for my birthday a few birthdays ago finally gave in and died and do i need a new one!!!! Theres not much new in my life just the same usally boringness like always just wish that i had the light of my day back!! Shawn was the light of my day when ever i was bored he would be there to talk to when ever i had so much anger build up i wanted to tear my hair out he was there to calm me down and whenever i just need to talk to someone he was there!! I know that everything happens for a reason!! I feel stronger now that i do have a hevenly father waiting for me to come back to him and i know that Shawn is looking over us each and every day makeing sure that we are safe from any harm that may come in our way!! The other day i had some time to think and i was thinking about life and how its all just a big journey and that all the love ones that are left behind on the path like shawn and grandma maryetta get to skip to the destination and that when we finally finish our journey and get to the other side evryone we have left behind on our way will be there waiting for us its like they have been given super speed and beat us to the finish line!! Im so thankful for the gospel and the knowledge to know that shawn is at the finish line waiting for every one of us to finish with our journey so that we can be with him again!!

Missing Someone Dear to me!!

A few days ago my Shawn died we had so many plans for next summer Im gonna miss him so much below is his picture and below that is a little something I wrote to get all my thoughts out before i broke down again!!! I love you so much Shawn!!

.:ShAwN:.Hahaha there is so much to love abput Shawn he was so funny, and sweet, he was caring, and loving, and everything in between. Sometimes i just cant believe that hes gone it happen so sudden one night were talking to each other and the next day hes gone. I sometimes regret not telling him that I loved him no matter what while he was he was on earth im just glad that now he knows that now and is in a good place. Even though I never got to see him in three years then found out that i wont be able to ever again broke my heart into millions of peices. On tuesday morning i woke up waiting for the usal hey girly or hey weirdo whats up and i never got it that moring i just thought oh maybe he had a long day and we were up late talking that night so i usomed he was in bed asleep. Well after my mom toke the girls to a moive i stayed home and got the baby to sleep and then went on facebook to check if Shawn had sent me his what up and as soon as i got on i went toShawns page just to see what was going on and before i got to his page I bust into tears I had no idea why i did i just did. As i was readibg through all the comments on his page people were saying "dont go yet its not your time pull though" and i just started to cry harder. Finally Shan came online and told me the whole story i was in so mych shock i was speechless i didnt know what to say. I started praying to my heavenly father please dont take another loved one ypu took one last year please let me keep him, and of course the answer was NO im sorry but this is the plan and its Shawns time to go. For the past few days i have been thinking of all of the good times me and Shawn have spent together i dont remember them all i just remember the ones that changed me forever. Like when all the younger kids would ask us to play house Shawn would have wrestling fights to see who got to get married to me and of course there were those times when landyn didntwant to play cause of course i was always married to Shawn and there were the the times when lan would be our kid and of course the times Shawn had to leave in the middle pf the game and landyn would be like "prtend you lost your husband and son in a car crash and now your getting married again to me hahaha i miss that. There was the time me and him were siting on the tramp at grandma clarks house were on laying on the tramp together looking up at the clouds and then sat up and and said i got ya just as stetson jump on then Shawn as quickly as he could kissed me and said it was all stetsons fault hahaha i knew hw wanted to do that the day i met him cause i kinda did too. He got in so much trouble for that. A few weeks before he died we were up late talking bout that kiss and i asked him was it really stetsons fault or did you do it on your own and sure enough it was him and not his brothers fault. I remember the time he tried to do my makeup lets justsay i didnt want to leave the house that day. The time me him shay and conner were siting in grandma maryettas camping traler and Shawn put his arm around me and conners like are you to in love haha i moved his arm and he kept puting it back and boy conner got so mad at Shawn for doing that. and of course the time me and shay made a magic potion and made Shawn drink it haha his first resonse was NO and it took a while just to get him to take a sip then he spit it out on me and shay well i guess we desered that mych for making him drink our magic potion that i dont think you would want to know what was in it haha. i remember one night talking to him on facebook and hes like hey girly whats up and im like oh well theres this boy who really likes me and he wont leave me alone and stuff and Shawns just like give his name and he wont even look at you again i dont know if he ever got around to that but its ok i know he loved and care about and he didnt wantme to get hurt in any way. and the most important was when he knocked me off the back of the fourwheeler i was in so much shock and pain i couldnt move instead if driving away and leaving me to go get help he sat there holdong my head until help came to me and i thank him for caring that much about me to sit there on the dirt road and hold me until help came to me he did get in trouble and i wasent allowed to ride with him any more but i did any way sorry dad but he care enough about me to stay with me. I hope that when i get into accidents in the furture he will he will be there to hold me and wait with me until help comes. This really changed my life so much i was in pain and it was hard to move but he sat there until my dad came and Shawn helped me up to ride back to camp he was always there for me he stod up for me when all the little kids got mad and started to throw rocks he told then they better knok this off or hes gonna beat them up. i knowthat Shawn will watch over me and the rest of the family but just because he watching over us doest mean that when its my time to go im not gonna beat up for leaving cause i still will. Im so glad that before he passed i got to ask him where i fall on his favorite cuzins or bestfriends because we arent really related but we prtended any way well sometimes we did anyway well i was shock to find my spot i swear i was gonna be one of the last ones because i always told on him and i regret that now but he told me that i was his favorite i was number one and im thankful that he thought of me as special to his heart just as him and shay tied for first in my heat even though we never really saw each other that much i still think that i was number one because he still had a big crush on me. I know that we all cn be strong and make it through this i love you all more than any thing..:ChEsiLyn•*•